This heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 20:59:27 GMT

i dont know
anymore.
=[

'lets just stop-drop everything, forget each others names, forget each others names".

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 02:31:29 GMT

im sorry.
I could have done better
People don't know when to stop
They don't know when to stay out of things.
And the worst part?
I think I'm satisfied with letting you go..
~~I kind of miss you, not going to lie.~~
You would never look into my eyes.
I guess it's better this way.
That's all thats left to say.

'Forget each others names, and please just walk away
It could be like we never knew each other at all.'
- chiodos.

ni una sola palabra

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:03:54 GMT

can you be a perfectionist/procrastinator?
I'd like to think so.
I don't know when I;ll be writing again,
livejournal just doesnt phase my latley.

So heres the deal.

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 12:36:34 GMT

Capstone slass officially sucks. I hate the stress it brings into my life.

silly teacher, capstone's for freshmen.

Because one dayI'll lead you a phantom to leave you in the summer to join the black parade.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 18:50:13 GMT

Let's rant shall we?

I hate having headaches.
I hate being in school with headaches
I hate the fact that i cant fucking see anything anytime of the day
I hate the fact that im even writing this down
I hate getting up at 5:55 in the morning
I hate Mrs. Fuscos class and her crazy ass lingo.
I hate being tired ALL of the time.
I hate the dishes I have to go do in like 5 min.
Ugh. Fuck today. Just screw this game.

No words darling, No words. Don't speak, Just Sing.

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 00:18:28 GMT

Two hundred miles away from home.
Two hundred miles beneath this lake is where my h e a r t belongs.
But you don't care at all
You wouldn't even smile if I were screaming as the water filled my lungs, oh my lungs.

You demand to be chased for your love.
My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
But you don't care at all.
There's nothing I can do to draw you close to me.

Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe a g a i n?
I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you.
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow, somehow.

Please be home tonight.
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right.
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel,
Every time you're here.

What would it take for me to be with you?
I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed, please be impressed.
I'd go so far to p l e a s e you but I bet you wouldn't care at all, oh at all.

Hopeless love please leave me.
This broken heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
Why don't you care at all?
I'm dying for a place in your h e a r t.

Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again?
I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you.
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow, somehow.

Hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?
This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight.
And now I regret the day we met.
And help me forget your name.

I have no words. The song explains it all.

LA lights, never shine quite as bright as in the movies.

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 17:05:26 GMT

wow. I like this school year.
I guess.
I hate hate hate hate hate my english class with so much hate it's unhealthy.
Wow.
This really bites.
I wish that was me.

there there baby, its just textbook stuff, it's in the ABC of growing up.

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 01:40:48 GMT

schools in 2 weeks.
i wanna go back so badly.
i think im gunna burn a cd

is it back to the drawing board
or running around in circles?
lets not pick up old habits.
... unless they're addcting, enough for you own good.

' I'm gunna be a celebrity, that means sombody everyone knows.'

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 23:02:51 GMT

I got my chinese food fix finally =)
that makes me uber happy.
yes. uber.
I wanna dance again, I don't know if my mom will let me seeing
dance is OUTRAGEOUSLY priced.
I'd much rather take Piano Lessons ♥

i dont know why im updating so early
i basically have nothing to do , thats probably why
and ill ive been doing is thinking.
which isnt good

I miss his linger on my lips and the words he kissed from my mouth
it was so wrong, but it felt so right
would i give anything to do it again?
nope.
would he?
nope.
If i could go back in time to that day, maybe i would
to know what it feels like again
would i do it in the future?
No.
=)

Poor Butterflies.=/

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 03:44:28 GMT

Havent been home alot latley
and i Miss it.
Let's see what ive accomplished
- not being home
- i learned how to play card games such as assole.
- I've literally jumped off of a bridge =) that was fun
- learned how to drink a beer the right way ;) jk lol
- Never fall asleep while your drugs are making mac and cheese
- My hearts so confused i don't know what to do with it.

i know nothing is no ones fault, and yes ill admit darling im a little hurt, but we grow through things like these, and become closer,
and ill respect your decsions no matter what they are, i just am lucky enough to have had the chance.
and im sure ill get over it.=)

i cant wait for school to start. i wanna see people. so bad.
and im sorry i cant be an all over people pleaser.
whatever im over it.

this is the most random entry ever.

well until next time.
watchoutforthosekillerbutterflies. ;)

the wedding

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 04:36:48 GMT

so i had a really good time at the wedding
and the reception was amazingg
until...

Nicole ( the bride) and her father, had the father daughter dance
and i started to cry..not anything HUGE just tears.

and im not usually emotional like that, i mean i didnt even cry at the actual wedding.and i jut thought to myself
if i ever get married, im never going to be able to do that. and my mom started to cry because she saw me upset, and she knew why and like i didnt want her to cry, so i went out on the balcony and called leah. and then my phone died. so that was the only sucky part of my day.

'i'll find you in the morning sun, and when the night is new, ill be looking at the moon but i'll be

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 03:21:57 GMT

At Leahhhs house. =) very fun. We took an adventure today we walked pretty much all over coventry. haha goood times. and i almost went swimming in a lake, but leah said no because like nine times out of ten i would have gotten like hit by a boat or eaten by a lake creature or something. sooo like i realized that it's their 2 months today. normally, that would bug the shit out of me, but it was differnt this time. I actually didn't feel anything, i kinda just brushed it off. And if you now me well, thats something i usually don't do. I usually get emotionally attached in stuff that i really shouldnt bother with. i mean yeah, two months in a relationship is a big dealbut try knowing someone for two years then you and can talk.

Ive been so wrapped up in this Eric thing. but i reallllly gotta slow down. so thats what i'm doing. and i didnt really think about him much today until i started updating nothing really been going on in that category anyways because he's been at camp and stuff so we'll talk about him when i got good details =).

I've been thinking alot latley about my friends. and how if i didnt have them, i would pretty much die. or be dead. i was thinking and like without they're support in some good and really dumb decisions i've made and like.. i have my friends but then i have my bests and yeah we fight and yeah we've been thorugh shit and everything but even though we both or mostly myself have made the retarded decisions in the friendship we can stick close and i love loveloveloveeee when i can trust someone. because they're very few people i can trust. I mean take Leah and I. we ahve been best best best besttt friends for like 11 and a half years. depending on how you look at it i was 4 she was 5. and like i cant have it any other way. we've been through sooo much stiff together both good and bad and i was thinking like what would life be like if i didntmeet certain people or if i didnt have friends like Leah who have been there foreverr.and the sad thing is i cant picture it any other way. i honestly dont know whoi would be. Like a smart kid Michele told me everything happens for a reason. sometimes for good sometimes for worse. sometimes it breaks you down and sometimes it makes you that much stonger. and your probably reading like hey yeah you're a freak and you need to shut the hell up nowww because your a confusing TARD ;). so thats what i'll do lol.

'Can't I stay an hour or two or more.., don't let me let you go, don't let me let you go.'

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 18:10:24 GMT

Okay so last night was AMAZING.

Michele, Eric,alan and I went to see pirates of the carribean 2. it sucked, but Eric was there and thats all that mattered. =D It made me mucho happy.
And i don't really know what it is about him that makes me like him so much. but I do. I really, really do.
He's adorable, he's smart, he's funny, hes crazy and shy all at the same time, he's everything I've ever wanted. and hes so perfect to me. and I realized that hes not an asshole, like other people I know.
I can't screw this up. And I'm gunna try so hard to make this work. but I have to give it time.So thats what I'm going to do I'm going to take my time.
Because I've never felt this way before.
This is better, then that other guy. Oh whats his name? I don't remember.

=)

' Sometimes th last thing you want comes in first , sometimes the first thing you want never comes'

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 17:08:10 GMT

im going to Micheles again tonight and im hopefully going to the movies with Michele, Eric <3 and alan. hopefully we'll be going im so nervous and excited at the same time. i cant wait. ill update later and see how that goes.

ohhhhhhh iloveyou i loveyou.

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 23:16:56 GMT

So lets sum this really quickly.

- painted and re-did my room <3

Went to Dropkick Murphys concert. it was incredible. I hung out with Jon, because i brought him i think he had a good time;which was good; Eric, Dave. and alan. We were in the front roww. and they put on an amazinggg show. jon was right infrom of me, eric was on my right, then dave then alan and my mom was behind me and the dropkicks were like put your arm around your neighbor, and i mean I like eric, and i didnt think he'd do it but he did and i was =) xmucho. and then after the concert i said my goodbyes to the boys, and my mom jon and i went to applebees, after jon and i made pretend we were 'flying' off the park benches, and trying to claim who owned the hill. it made my mom laugh alot haha. it was a great night, and when i saw eric i was like <33 haha. the i went to leahs party with the girlss and that was so fun, i dont think ive ever make sherlock laugh so fucking hard. Sherades is the best game ever. Officially. and i rock hardxcore at that game haha. well, acting anyways =) that was a blast.

ahh god
im over the loser.

drugs.

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 02:23:44 GMT

do them.

Vicodin. Methamphetamine. Liquid-X.

end of story.

love of mine, someday you will die, but ill be close behind, ill follow you into the dark..

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 02:47:39 GMT

weird day.
need advice on
6-28's entry
=\

the tears dont fall, they crash around me.

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 03:50:20 GMT

summers been good, seen alot of friends i havent seen, i dont really have too too many pkans so whomever wants too hang out just tell me or call or something.

im tired of bullshit, i really am. he hasnt been the same since hes been with her, he denies it but, he really hasnt. and im tired of waiting, im kinda sorta almost ready to say goodbye, but i cant.. someone tell me what to do? im tired of restrickting myself from everything for a stupid boy who wont even look at me, or give me a chance. im just a stupid girl who waited around for a stupid boy for way too long. god i dont know what to do.

she wrote you a note
because she was shy
she waited long enough
and said goodbye
and now that you her
she became a blur

i wrote you a note
because im shy
i've waited long enough
and im trying to say goodbye
and now that you have her
i've became a blur
the notes are crumpled paper
you threw in your trash
like this heart you broke
just more shattered, broken glass.

dig it to chinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 12:42:38 GMT

had a really good weeekend, i went to the movies with jon and megan and oreo was supossed to come.. but he didnt clean his room or something... idk. anywho we went and im not gunna lie i felt really awekwards at first but then everything was okay. we went to see the Omen. haha.
I then slept over megans house, which was a wiicked kickin time, we took lots of pictures, ate massive amounts of doritos andd tryed to dig to china, but then closed the hole up because they tried to eat us, them and their god damn fire ants. haha

Right now im in photographyy and like life is pretty dece i guess you could say.

g2g do my god damn photo task.

lovebrittanylea.

may i have your attention? pwease?

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 12:43:23 GMT

okay in photo again as usual.
I have gym next period and i really, really do not wanna go because i dont feel good.
I took a portrait with jon that jordan took, i hope it comes out goooood. =)

coughocoughcoughjonsaflaminghomocoughcoughcoughcoughcoguh

god i really should clear my throat more often.

ahahaahaha just playinggg!

<3me.

....Lost in Lysergic Bliss..

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 02:31:23 GMT

Okay i must say i had the FUNNEST night friday. i havent had that much fun in a whilee.
Went to meet Michele at the radio station and she was with kevin, which was cool and we went to go wath the dodgeball tournament in the gym and we saw gilly make a fool of himself and try to play dodge ball and dance at the same time, which doesnt work obviously. Then we went back to the radio station and goofed off, that was funn. After that i went back to micheles because i was sleeping over so we goofed off and talked, and watched the note book because we are cool like that, then we were going to go to sleep, but we decided to watch the yearbook dvd which SUCKED BALLS. lol then we took goofy ass pictures and that was wiicked fun. talked more about how john stamos is a prego... and micheles phone rang and scared us shitless, so we went downstairs at like 3 in the morning and had breakfast with her mom.. which consisted of waffles, strawberrys and beery captain crunch aha. then we stayed up, for the most part, and watched date movie, and around 5 ish we finally went to sleep. all i can say is it was a fucking blast. I was also Introduced to Of Montreal- which i am absoluley in love with now, thank you micheleeeeee!!

lovebrittanylea.

phototgraphy

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 14:08:40 GMT

ATTENTION EVERYONE::
okay so me and the gang are in photography and we haev come to a wonderful yet so true conclusion
JOHN STAMOS IS A FUCKING PREGO WHORE, that needs to be shot\.

that is all.

OH AND BY THE WAY: JOHN STAMOS GET A FUCKING NOSE JOB.
again that is all.

/\1,2,3 /\1,2,3 /\1,2,3, /\1,2,3,4, /\ 1,2 3, /\ 1, 2, 3, 4/\ 1, 2...

Wed, 31 May 2006 02:00:21 GMT

im so sick of crying.
i hate being this way
UGH.
enough said.
im tired of ruining your days.
im tired of you ruining my heart
i gave you all of the peices
i know theres alot
i gave you some glue
you know where to start.

...I know how to pick on you.. you push me over the edge..

Mon, 29 May 2006 00:41:41 GMT

Okay so I slept over tricia's last night which was funn it was her birthday and it was nice to get away from everything. I'm doing good now, i think it's all better. I watched the Notebook (<33333333333333333) with the girls last night. And yes I cryed, and yes all i could think about was us .. it was so weird, i just couldnt stop thinking about it. I love that movie. with a passion and a half. we also had a waterfight and jon was a chicken but eveyone else got wet.. and Tricia well pantsd Miles. it was soo funny. and then we were all sitting around the fire.. and we heard the coyotes barking and we freaked and went into the house(after putting the fire out)and then we played pool and ate more food.. ah god i think i gained like 5849378439 pounds fromt the party alone. Megan and I also had a cake fight. ahaha. Tomorrows Memorial day. i have no idea what im doing.. maybe getting together with either Amy or Michele? or staying here and being with my mom and nana. Nana's haveing chest pains right now. IM scared. this is not a good thing. i hope everything goes okay.. seriously. we just gave her a nitroglycerin which should help but we will see how that goes and then if it doesnt help.. off to the hospital we go, god that shit better work.
Speaking of hospitals.. last time i had a waterfight with the hoses.. i got mono. hopefully that won't happen this time.
update later.
lovebrittany.

dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a quiet room while im with you?

Fri, 26 May 2006 03:25:24 GMT

wow.
today still kind of sucked but amy called and that made my day. she's catching up with old friends which is good bc theres a lot of shit i need to tell her, one of the only people who would understand, besides you guys. im so happy she called! man that brought back memories.
i also went to the mills with my friend today. it was fun. i love being there its so like away from everything and the weather was nice, all the more reason to be outside.
i was talking to dave tonight and saying how i really need to get out more. these past three days have relly sucked. i havent been getting much sleep which means the mono could come back and i really dont want it again. i dont think im gunna pull that shit again, i mean sure this ones actually worth it and jon wasnt but hey.. it's actually not worth it. but yeah i need to be happy again. ive been kinda emo these past three days.. i really dont like it. i love laughing and smiling. and those who have gotten me through these three days have made it better, and i cant say thanx enough. anywho i have to take a shower and finish my fucking geometry and hopefully be in bed by let's say.. 12:30? yeah.
lets call it an early night.

.. Oh, please dont tell me everything is wonderful now..