| This heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury |
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[15 Jan 2007|04:59pm] |
i dont know
anymore.
=[
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| 'lets just stop-drop everything, forget each others names, forget each others names". |
[17 Dec 2006|10:31pm] |
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music |
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chiodos - Baby, you wouldn't last a minute on the creek |
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im sorry.
I could have done better
People don't know when to stop
They don't know when to stay out of things.
And the worst part?
I think I'm satisfied with letting you go..
I kind of miss you, not going to lie.
You would never look into my eyes.
I guess it's better this way.
That's all thats left to say.
'Forget each others names, and please just walk away
It could be like we never knew each other at all.'
- chiodos.
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| ni una sola palabra |
[07 Nov 2006|04:03pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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ni una sola palabra |
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can you be a perfectionist/procrastinator?
I'd like to think so.
I don't know when I;ll be writing again,
livejournal just doesnt phase my latley.
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| So heres the deal. |
[26 Oct 2006|08:36am] |
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mood |
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 cynical |
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music |
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nothing but the hum of an annoying ass fan |
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Capstone slass officially sucks. I hate the stress it brings into my life.
silly teacher, capstone's for freshmen.
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| Because one dayI'll lead you a phantom to leave you in the summer to join the black parade. |
[11 Oct 2006|06:49pm] |
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mood |
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cynical |
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music |
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Welcome to the Black Parade- My Chemical Romance |
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Let's rant shall we?
I hate having headaches.
I hate being in school with headaches
I hate the fact that i cant fucking see anything anytime of the day
I hate the fact that im even writing this down
I hate getting up at 5:55 in the morning
I hate Mrs. Fuscos class and her crazy ass lingo.
I hate being tired ALL of the time.
I hate the dishes I have to go do in like 5 min.
Ugh. Fuck today. Just screw this game.
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| No words darling, No words. Don't speak, Just Sing. |
[01 Oct 2006|08:17pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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Two hundred miles away from home.
Two hundred miles beneath this lake is where my h e a r t belongs.
But you don't care at all
You wouldn't even smile if I were screaming as the water filled my lungs, oh my lungs.
You demand to be chased for your love.
My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
But you don't care at all.
There's nothing I can do to draw you close to me.
Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe a g a i n?
I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you.
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow, somehow.
Please be home tonight.
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right.
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel,
Every time you're here.
What would it take for me to be with you?
I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed, please be impressed.
I'd go so far to p l e a s e you but I bet you wouldn't care at all, oh at all.
Hopeless love please leave me.
This broken heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
Why don't you care at all?
I'm dying for a place in your h e a r t.
Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again?
I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you.
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow, somehow.
Hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?
This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight.
And now I regret the day we met.
And help me forget your name.
I have no words. The song explains it all.
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| ' I'm gunna be a celebrity, that means sombody everyone knows.' |
[10 Aug 2006|06:55pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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music |
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Roxie- Chicago Soundtrack |
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I got my chinese food fix finally =)
that makes me uber happy.
yes. uber.
I wanna dance again, I don't know if my mom will let me seeing
dance is OUTRAGEOUSLY priced.
I'd much rather take Piano Lessons ♥
i dont know why im updating so early
i basically have nothing to do , thats probably why
and ill ive been doing is thinking.
which isnt good
I miss his linger on my lips and the words he kissed from my mouth
it was so wrong, but it felt so right
would i give anything to do it again?
nope.
would he?
nope.
If i could go back in time to that day, maybe i would
to know what it feels like again
would i do it in the future?
No.
=)
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| Poor Butterflies.=/ |
[09 Aug 2006|11:43pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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A Day In The Life- The Beatles |
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Havent been home alot latley
and i Miss it.
Let's see what ive accomplished
- not being home
- i learned how to play card games such as assole.
- I've literally jumped off of a bridge =) that was fun
- learned how to drink a beer the right way ;) jk lol
- Never fall asleep while your drugs are making mac and cheese
- My hearts so confused i don't know what to do with it.
i know nothing is no ones fault, and yes ill admit darling im a little hurt, but we grow through things like these, and become closer,
and ill respect your decsions no matter what they are, i just am lucky enough to have had the chance.
and im sure ill get over it.=)
i cant wait for school to start. i wanna see people. so bad.
and im sorry i cant be an all over people pleaser.
whatever im over it.
this is the most random entry ever.
well until next time.
watchoutforthosekillerbutterflies. ;)
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| the wedding |
[30 Jul 2006|12:36am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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music |
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nothing. |
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so i had a really good time at the wedding
and the reception was amazingg
until...
Nicole ( the bride) and her father, had the father daughter dance
and i started to cry..not anything HUGE just tears.
and im not usually emotional like that, i mean i didnt even cry at the actual wedding.and i jut thought to myself
if i ever get married, im never going to be able to do that. and my mom started to cry because she saw me upset, and she knew why and like i didnt want her to cry, so i went out on the balcony and called leah. and then my phone died. so that was the only sucky part of my day.
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| 'i'll find you in the morning sun, and when the night is new, ill be looking at the moon but i'll be |
[23 Jul 2006|11:02pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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music |
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I'll be seeing you- Billie Holiday. |
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At Leahhhs house. =) very fun. We took an adventure today we walked pretty much all over coventry. haha goood times. and i almost went swimming in a lake, but leah said no because like nine times out of ten i would have gotten like hit by a boat or eaten by a lake creature or something. sooo like i realized that it's their 2 months today. normally, that would bug the shit out of me, but it was differnt this time. I actually didn't feel anything, i kinda just brushed it off. And if you now me well, thats something i usually don't do. I usually get emotionally attached in stuff that i really shouldnt bother with. i mean yeah, two months in a relationship is a big dealbut try knowing someone for two years then you and can talk.
Ive been so wrapped up in this Eric thing. but i reallllly gotta slow down. so thats what i'm doing. and i didnt really think about him much today until i started updating nothing really been going on in that category anyways because he's been at camp and stuff so we'll talk about him when i got good details =).
I've been thinking alot latley about my friends. and how if i didnt have them, i would pretty much die. or be dead. i was thinking and like without they're support in some good and really dumb decisions i've made and like.. i have my friends but then i have my bests and yeah we fight and yeah we've been thorugh shit and everything but even though we both or mostly myself have made the retarded decisions in the friendship we can stick close and i love loveloveloveeee when i can trust someone. because they're very few people i can trust. I mean take Leah and I. we ahve been best best best besttt friends for like 11 and a half years. depending on how you look at it i was 4 she was 5. and like i cant have it any other way. we've been through sooo much stiff together both good and bad and i was thinking like what would life be like if i didntmeet certain people or if i didnt have friends like Leah who have been there foreverr.and the sad thing is i cant picture it any other way. i honestly dont know whoi would be. Like a smart kid Michele told me everything happens for a reason. sometimes for good sometimes for worse. sometimes it breaks you down and sometimes it makes you that much stonger. and your probably reading like hey yeah you're a freak and you need to shut the hell up nowww because your a confusing TARD ;). so thats what i'll do lol.
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| 'Can't I stay an hour or two or more.., don't let me let you go, don't let me let you go.' |
[21 Jul 2006|02:09pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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eve 6- Here's to the Nights. |
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Okay so last night was AMAZING.
Michele, Eric,alan and I went to see pirates of the carribean 2. it sucked, but Eric was there and thats all that mattered. =D It made me mucho happy.
And i don't really know what it is about him that makes me like him so much. but I do. I really, really do.
He's adorable, he's smart, he's funny, hes crazy and shy all at the same time, he's everything I've ever wanted. and hes so perfect to me. and I realized that hes not an asshole, like other people I know.
I can't screw this up. And I'm gunna try so hard to make this work. but I have to give it time.So thats what I'm going to do I'm going to take my time.
Because I've never felt this way before.
This is better, then that other guy. Oh whats his name? I don't remember.
=)
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| ohhhhhhh iloveyou i loveyou. |
[15 Jul 2006|07:15pm] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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music |
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space- something cooperate. |
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So lets sum this really quickly.
- painted and re-did my room <3
Went to Dropkick Murphys concert. it was incredible. I hung out with Jon, because i brought him i think he had a good time;which was good; Eric, Dave. and alan. We were in the front roww. and they put on an amazinggg show. jon was right infrom of me, eric was on my right, then dave then alan and my mom was behind me and the dropkicks were like put your arm around your neighbor, and i mean I like eric, and i didnt think he'd do it but he did and i was =) xmucho. and then after the concert i said my goodbyes to the boys, and my mom jon and i went to applebees, after jon and i made pretend we were 'flying' off the park benches, and trying to claim who owned the hill. it made my mom laugh alot haha. it was a great night, and when i saw eric i was like <33 haha. the i went to leahs party with the girlss and that was so fun, i dont think ive ever make sherlock laugh so fucking hard. Sherades is the best game ever. Officially. and i rock hardxcore at that game haha. well, acting anyways =) that was a blast.
ahh god
im over the loser.
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| drugs. |
[12 Jul 2006|10:23pm] |
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music |
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99 Red Balloons- Goldfinger cover. |
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do them.
Vicodin. Methamphetamine. Liquid-X.
end of story.
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| the tears dont fall, they crash around me. |
[28 Jun 2006|11:49pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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i will follow you into the dark- death cab for cutie |
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summers been good, seen alot of friends i havent seen, i dont really have too too many pkans so whomever wants too hang out just tell me or call or something.
im tired of bullshit, i really am. he hasnt been the same since hes been with her, he denies it but, he really hasnt. and im tired of waiting, im kinda sorta almost ready to say goodbye, but i cant.. someone tell me what to do? im tired of restrickting myself from everything for a stupid boy who wont even look at me, or give me a chance. im just a stupid girl who waited around for a stupid boy for way too long. god i dont know what to do.
she wrote you a note
because she was shy
she waited long enough
and said goodbye
and now that you her
she became a blur
i wrote you a note
because im shy
i've waited long enough
and im trying to say goodbye
and now that you have her
i've became a blur
the notes are crumpled paper
you threw in your trash
like this heart you broke
just more shattered, broken glass.
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| dig it to chinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa |
[12 Jun 2006|08:42am] |
had a really good weeekend, i went to the movies with jon and megan and oreo was supossed to come.. but he didnt clean his room or something... idk. anywho we went and im not gunna lie i felt really awekwards at first but then everything was okay. we went to see the Omen. haha.
I then slept over megans house, which was a wiicked kickin time, we took lots of pictures, ate massive amounts of doritos andd tryed to dig to china, but then closed the hole up because they tried to eat us, them and their god damn fire ants. haha
Right now im in photographyy and like life is pretty dece i guess you could say.
g2g do my god damn photo task.
lovebrittanylea.
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| may i have your attention? pwease? |
[06 Jun 2006|08:41am] |
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mood |
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 lazy |
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music |
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hands down- dashoboard confessional. |
] |
okay in photo again as usual.
I have gym next period and i really, really do not wanna go because i dont feel good.
I took a portrait with jon that jordan took, i hope it comes out goooood. =)
coughocoughcoughjonsaflaminghomocoughcoughcoughcoughcoguh
god i really should clear my throat more often.
ahahaahaha just playinggg!
<3me.
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